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Thread: Spambox XXL

  1. #5301 SP
    Senior Member Alexandru's Avatar
    Ce se poate intâmpla dacă refuz un colet de la eMag/Libris? Treaba stă in felul următor: am dat comandă de câteva cărți joi, fiind sigur că voi primi coletul astăzi (sâmbătă). Din păcate coletul nu a sosit astăzi, așa că am dat o fugă prin câteva librării și mi-am cumpărat respectivele cărți. Voiam neapărat ca până duminică seara să epuziez 2 din respectivele cărți pentru că pur și simplu nu aveam altceva de făcut. (și apoi nu știu când mai prindeam 2 zile libere)

    Noroc!

  2. #5302 SP
    Senior Member Strike105X's Avatar
    John really wanted to buy a motorcycle. He had been searching nearly every day, with no luck (he’s quite picky). One day he comes across a mint looking Harley with a ‘For Sale’ sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one even though it’s 10 years old, really shiny and in absolute mint condition.

    He immediately buys it, on the spot, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. “Well, it’s quite simple, really,” says the seller, “whenever the bike is outside and it’s going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.” And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

    That night, his girlfriend, Sandy, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they ride the bike over there. But, just before they enter the house, Sandy stops him and says, “I have to tell you something about my family before we go in… When we eat dinner, we don’t talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.” “No problem,” he says. And in they go.

    John is shocked at the sight. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

    They sit down to dinner and, of course, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. He leans over and kisses Sandy. No one says a word. He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. He stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her brains out right in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom definitely horrified, but, when he sits back down nobody says a word.

    John, looking over at Sandy’s mom, things to himself she’s pretty hot. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. His girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, “All right, that's enough, I’ll do the F***ing dishes!”

  3. #5303 SP
    Senior Member Espiritus's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Alexandru View Post
    Ce se poate intâmpla dacă refuz un colet de la eMag/Libris? Treaba stă in felul următor: am dat comandă de câteva cărți joi, fiind sigur că voi primi coletul astăzi (sâmbătă). Din păcate coletul nu a sosit astăzi, așa că am dat o fugă prin câteva librării și mi-am cumpărat respectivele cărți. Voiam neapărat ca până duminică seara să epuziez 2 din respectivele cărți pentru că pur și simplu nu aveam altceva de făcut. (și apoi nu știu când mai prindeam 2 zile libere)

    Noroc!
    Nu vei pati nimic. Ai putea sa te plangi de faptul ca au ajuns prea tarziu, asa vei primi si scuzele de rigoare.

  4. #5304 SP
    One Man Army Cristy's Avatar
    Pentru fanii The Walking Dead (Serial) lol!


  5. #5305 SP
    Senior Member sol1d's Avatar
    The horror, the horror..
    Hang on tight, kids. 1984, George Orwell’s groundbreaking novel of dystopian oppression and government surveillance, will be the indirect basis for a new romantic drama starring Kristen Stewart. Everybody still okay? Maybe take a few deep breaths before you go any further.
    The movie, titled Equals, will be directed by Drake Doremus, who wrote and directed dramas such as Like Crazy and Breathe In. The script is written by Nathan Parker, who wrote 2009’s outstanding Moon. Nicholas Hoult (Warm Bodies, X-Men: Days of Future Past) stars opposite Stewart.

    When the project was announced in October, Doremus called it a sci-fi love story. Speaking to the AP more recently, Doremus added, “It’s about love in a world where love doesn’t exist anymore.” But it was Stewart who delivered the most interesting detail just this week, describing Equals as an updated version of the 1956 film 1984. Not an updated version of the original 1949 novel, mind you, but an updated version of the book's first film adaptation. As /Film points out, the 1956 film was kept off the shelves for a long time due to an injunction by the Orwell estate
    While showing enthusiasm for what she calls “a love story of epic, epic, epic proportion,” Stewart also expressed trepidation about her role, saying, “But I told Drake, ‘Don’t expect that I am going to be able to do this. It’s too hard.’ But he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I’ve given disclaimers before, but never this much.”
    Kristen Stewart to Star in Equals, an Updated Version of Orwell’s 1984 - IGN

    ---------- Post added 19-01-2014 at 06:53 ----------

    Took a charter flight on a DC-10 to London. Landed at Heathrow. Took a cab to the city center. Don't let people lie to you: hostels are for the ugly. I'm staying in Home House, the most beautiful hotel in the world. Called a friend from school who was selling hash, but she wasn't in. Met a couple of Brits who take me to, of all places, Camden Street. I flirt a bit at the Virgin Megastore, buy some CDs, then follow some girls with pink hair. I wandered around trying to get laid, until it started to rain, then went back to Home House. Ministry of Sound is dead, so I go to Remform - but it's Gay Night. I find the one hetero girl in the place and we dry hump on the dance floor. We cab it back to Home House. I strip her clothes off, suck her toes, and we ****. I hung out for four or five days. Met the world's biggest DJ, Paul Oakenfold. Kept missing the Changing of the Guards. Wrote my mom a postcard I never sent. Bought some speed from an Italian junkie who was trying to sell me a stolen bike. Smoked a lot of hash that had too much tobacco in it. Saw the Tate. Saw Big Ben. Ate a lot of weird English food. It rained a lot, it was expensive, and I'm jonesing... So, I split for Amsterdam. The Dutch all know English, so I didn't have to speak any Dutch - which was a relief. I cruise the Red Light District. Visit a sex show. Visit a sex museum. Smoke a lot of hash. I meet a Dutch TV actress and we drink absinthe at a bar called Absinthe. The museums were cool, I guess. Lots of Van Goghs and the Vermeers were intense. Wandered around. Bought a lot of pastries. Ate some intense waffles. We bought some coke and I cruised the Red Light District, until I found some blonde with big tits that reminds me of Lara. I gave her a hundred guilders. In the end, she pulls me out, and I cum between her tits, even though I'm wearing a rubber. Afterward we made small-talk about AIDS, her Moroccan pimp, and herself. I wake to the sound of a wino singing. It's 8 AM and hot as blazes. I pretend to ice-skate around Central Station, while someone plays the sax. Trade songs with a Kiwi girl... Then split for Paris by train. Wander the Champs-Elysees. Climb the Eiffel Tower for only seven francs, because the ticket machine was broken. Got the hang of the Metro, took it everywhere. Went to a Ford model party and hooked up with a Romanian model named Karina. She chugs my **** at the Mariott Champs-Elysees, which is good. We played billiards, went shopping. I think she gave me mono. Drove a Ferrari that belonged to a member of the Saudi royal family. Made out with a Dutch model in front of the Louvre. Saw the Arc de Triomphe and almost became road-kill crossing the street... "Oakie" invites me to Dublin, so I catch an Aer Lingus flight and stay at the Morrison. Dublin rocks like you can't imagine. Oakenfold lets me spin some discs with him. Irish girls are as small as leprechauns. I swap hickeys with a drunk woman. After groping my abs and calling me "Mr. L.A.", she strips for me in the bath room of the club. Sneak into the Guinness factory and steal some stout so good my **** goes hard... I fly to Barcelona, which was a low-rent bust. Too many fat American students. Too many lame meat markets. I dropped acid at the Sagrada Familia, which was a trip to say the least. Cruise up the coast to the Museo Gala Dali, but had no more acid, which sucked. Some girl from Camden calls me on my cell, so I let her listen to the church bells in Cadaques. Canta Cruz is beautiful, but there are no girls here, just old hippies... So, I went to Switzerland where I, ironically, couldn't find anyone who had the time. Took the Glacier Express up the Schilthorn, which is beautiful in a way I can't describe... Euro Pass into Italy and ended up in Venice, where I met a hot girl who looks like Rachael Leigh Cook and speaks better English than I do. She's living for a year on only five dollars a day. We gondola around, buy some masks. She think's I'm a capitalist, because my hotel room costs more for one night than she's spending her entire trip. But she doesn't mind it so much when I pay the bills... I ditch her and hook up with a couple who obviously want a 3-some. Too much tension there, but the doofus offers to drive me to Rome, an offer I jump at. Traffic is bad and we're stopped for hours without moving. The wife turns out to be a freak. The guy starts to wig out on me. It's like a Polanski film... We stop for a while in Florence, where I see some big dome. A bomb goes off and I lose the weird couple, which is probably for the best... Ended up in Rome, which is big and hot and dirty. It was just like L.A., but with ruins. I went to the Vatican, which was ridiculously opulent. Stood for two hours to get into the Sistine Chapel, which - now that it's been cleaned - looks fake. I meet two under-age Italian girls who I try to talk into ****ing each other while I jack off onto them. Bored, I buy them some ice cream instead. My hotel has a gym, so I work out. I bump into some guy from Camden who says he knows me, but I'm sure that he's a fag, so I lose him. I try to fart and instead **** my pants. Back in my hotel room, I masturbate and have a pain in my groin. That night, I dream about a beautiful girl, half in water, stretching her lean body. She asks me if I like it and I tell her she can clean fish with it. I don't know what it means, but I wake well-rested, masturbate in the shower, and check out... I make my way back to London and hang out in Piccadilly Circus. Hmm. Palakon. I swap shirts with some upper-crusty Cambridge chick. Hers was an Agnes B., mine a Costume Nationale. She acts stuffy and prudish, but is really wild underneath it all. She barely looks at my abs, though she wants to. The next day, I drop some acid and get lost in the subway for a full day and can't find my way out. I meet a cute girl who lets me jack off onto her as long as no cum gets onto her Paul Smith coat. We get stoned while listening to Michael Jackson records and the next morning I wake up talking to myself. I have a big bump on my head from flailing in my sleep. I get my stuff and barely make my plane back to the United States... I no longer know who I am and I feel like the ghost of a total stranger.

  6. #5306 SP
    Senior Member Clopotarul's Avatar



  7. #5307 SP
    Senior Member sol1d's Avatar

  8. #5308 SP
    Vires Intus eagle-eye's Avatar

  9. #5309 SP
    Senior Member sol1d's Avatar

  10. #5310 SP
    Teraflops Graft's Avatar
    'neața.

    Micul dejun este cea mai importantă masă a zilei. Luați cu pâine.


  11. #5311 SP
    Senior Member Rasko's Avatar

  12. #5312 SP
    Senior Member sol1d's Avatar
    comentariile la clip-ul ala..)))))))))))))))

  13. #5313 SP
    Senior Member Espiritus's Avatar
    "TOT CE-I INFUNDAT SE DESFUNDA IN NUMELE LUI IISUS" - comentariul asta a fost prea rau.

  14. #5314 SP
    Senior Member sol1d's Avatar

  15. #5315 SP
    One Man Army Cristy's Avatar
    E ziua mea! Bere virtuala pentru toti! si una fara alcool mie!
    Happy 16's!

  16. #5316 SP
    Senior Member Espiritus's Avatar
    Vreau si eu fara alcool. La multi ani!

  17. #5317 SP
    Senior Member tray's Avatar
    robby bubble nu e?

  18. #5318 SP
    One Man Army Cristy's Avatar
    este, este

  19. #5319 SP
    Teraflops Graft's Avatar
    Citronadă? Sau măcar Tec.

  20. #5320 SP
    One Man Army Cristy's Avatar
    Here you go!
    Attached Images Attached Images lemonade_nc.jpg images-1-.jpg 3250678_orig.jpg

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